Things Happen in Threes

“Things happen in threes.” Or so Mama always said. 

I was feeling good today. Had a good night sleep, the sun was shining, just got back from a long weekend with so many of my best friends, got to get hugs from my kiddos and I was just feeling good. Only a quick few moments when I woke up missing my mama, but that’s typical...she’s often the first thing I think of when I wake up. 

Anyway...

Today three different things happened. Three things that reminded me that although it feels like it sometimes, that I am not the only one missing my girl so much. 

Two things that reminded me that we are all missing our angel here on Earth. One thing that reminded me, we are all missing our angel here on Earth...because she was needed as an angel in Heaven. 

Mama loved to jam to Blurred Lines. She would purse her lips, swing her hands by her sides and do the casual side to side sway. I got in the car (her car) this morning and Blurred Lines was on. Don’t get me wrong, she does that to me many mornings. But today a cousin sent me a text saying they heard it at the exact same time and could picture Mama dancing. It’s not just me that has this vivid visual memory of my Mama. It’s so nice to feel the memory in those moments, to share the memory. 

Just a little bit later I got a text about another cousin who had an accident. Long story short, everyone is okay and safe, but it was nothing short of a miracle. After the shock wore off, I got a text from her saying she talked to my Mama the whole time she was out of control, knowing she’d be there for her. She mentioned she kept her Team Cherylyn bracelet on the “blinker stick” in the car, but figured she’d lost it after the damage she saw to the car. She went to grab her wallet to pay, and noticed her Cherylyn bracelet at the bottom of the bag. 

She said to me “She saved my life. She’s always here. She just couldn’t protect everyone while she was here, there’s too many of us and now she can ❤️ she’s the best guardian angel ever.” 

It makes my heart skip beats, my stomach drop and tears fall as I reread that. It’s true. I remember when we had a prayer service at my uncles for Mama, my Aunt Colleen said that although we don’t know God’s plan and don’t agree with i. maybe He’s taking her from us because He needs her more. On a day like today, yes. I get that. Or selfishly, I’m thinking maybe we needed her up there “helping” Him call the shots. 

I think about my dad’s cancer diagnosis and although it sucks, she clearly has a say in it. He’s here, feeling “better than he did 4 years ago”, gaining weight, golfing and getting ready to walk me down the aisle. 

I think to things that my brother has encountered, the accidents that could have been life-altering, she’s saved him

I think about my sister who has had little direction for so many years and recently has gotten back on her two feet and is rebuilding relationships. 

I’m stopping the explanations with just my immediate family, but I know these “Cherylyn’s saving me” moments are happening to many of us. 

Lastly, my cousin posted a picture of my mama’s brick on LBI. All she simply wrote was “miss you”. I smiled, but suddenly it made my heart heavy.

So often I feel so sad. So often I feel so sorry for those around me that have to listen to my tears or my constant “I just miss my mom.” I don’t feel guilty or self-pity. I know I am allowed to feel how I feel when I feel it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could laugh the pain away. 

You guys miss her too. You all are dealing with pain, grief and sadness too. You all have memories, some the same as me, some so different. You all have a piece of you missing. 

You’re missing someone to talk about life with, someone to tell you how it is, someone to tell you your wrong and she has a better way, someone to chat with about Phillies, someone to go on spontaneous trips with, someone to play words with friends with, someone to sit on the beach with, someone to listen to Bruce and Jackson with, someone who has been through so much in life - can relate to a story and add a positive spin, someone to tell you it is what it is. 

Today was a emotional day for me, but not in the sadness that it often is. It was a day of memories, thankfulness and faith. A day for me to remember we are all missing someone, and that someone is my mama. 💛